A bulging embarrassment :D

I ve pulled out this post from Channel-One again. It was posted a couple of months back:

The other day as I was getting ready for office, I saw a guy in the mirror placed right opposite to me. The fella had an obnoxious tummy protruding out. I was absolutely shocked to see his face- it had a striking resemblance to mine. Embarrassing to the core. What a turn off it would be for my potential girl friend. Yours truly is still single (and quite desperately so), and for someone like me, it isn’t a very good sign if I hope to impress a girl or two.Time to put on my jogging shoes mate, and get running! Now that is the most I can do, I am hopelessly lazy to go to some gym-somehow I don’t like gyms-I always feel good whenever I read that just jogging will take care of that bulge. That said, well it’s been around 10 years now that I’ve been planning to start jogging. Not that I’ve never done it, in fact I can boast of a strike rate of almost 80%. Yes, I have actually gone ahead with my jogging plans 8 out of 10 times. Only that all the enthusiasm fizzled out in a month at the most. I remember the last time I had started , it lasted for almost a month. I was almost feeling proud of myself to have sustained it for so long when it was interrupted by an early morning shift that warranted me to rise at such unearthly hours as 4′0′clock. The following week,I almost had an attack of selective amnesia-that j-word had ceased to exist in my vocabulary. I mean I can still manage getting up at 5.30, but 4  is  a bit too much. Even as I glance at the keyboard to type this out I cant help noticing that pathetic convex-shaped curve. Yuck.The current state of my  physique is slowly getting me into a position where I can no longer hope to wear t-shirts and manage to look decent enough. Scary proposition indeed. I’ve been trying my best to battle the bulge in ways which do not require me to do some accelerated physical activity-like trying to survive only on fruit salads for lunch. What follows that on most occasions is  a snack-binge in the evening. So it becomes a zero sum game. And at home my aunt makes such delicious food which subjects me to selective amnesia again, as far as my diet consciousness is concerned.So the effect of the calories I manage to avoid with fruit salad is completely nullified and then over-compensated by the daily evening snack festival(consisting of stuff like mixture, murukku,bisuits  etc and then of course by the  typically south Indian veggie dinners replete with ghee-laden preparations and that irresistible thayir sadham (curd rice for those uninitiated in Tamil) .The reason I am so terrified right now is because people have started noticing that its not flat anymore(if you can tolerate a deadly PJ here, The world may be flat for Thomas Friedman, but the stomach is no longer flat for me 😛 sorry for that. Just couldn’t resist. )- actually it hasn’t been flat from almost 5-6 years , but  since the last two or three months,its threatening to break out from the shackles of my buttoned shirts in broad daylight which makes my friends tell me “hey, you got a thoppai da!”(thondh nikal aaya/aayi hai yaar!) ouch!! That hurts. All these days I was the only guy who knew about it. Now the whole world knows it.And its not a very good feeling. If you ask me what I am doing to get back in good shape, the answer is I am taking it one step at a time. I have started waking up at 5.30 somethings (See, I’m a firm believer in planning before executing and right now I am in the process of formulating a master plan which will put me on the fast lane to achieving that perfectly flat stomach 😉 ) and hopefully I ll get myself to start jogging all over again notwithstanding the sarcastic queries that I will have to confront from my aunt and sister , like, “oh you started jogging again?”, followed by smiles which eventually make way for loud uproarious laughs. But the danger is that I have a morning shift coming up in the first week of August. So should I post pone it again? The battle within continues for now…

As you can see, I started out with the intention of writing aimlessly about anything that comes to my mind, but ended up with this. What was actually  titled as ‘Just-for-the-heck-of-it post’ has now attained this name.And yes, I am certain this will see the light of the day.
p.s. : All fitness related tips are most welcome. But excuse me if it would need me to go to the gym. So anything else would be great.Actually if it can make me get up and go jogging no matter what happens,nothing like it.

Rant on!!

This one’s reproduced from my most recent blog on Channel-one, my company’s own internal blogging website. Again,for the lack of new ideas 😉

Disclaimer: Before I go on to say anything,let me add a small but important disclaimer. This post is being written under a lot of desperation arising out of not updating my blog for a long long time and lots of unsuccessful attempts at writing something. So I don’t know what I am going to talk about. Yeah, its deja-vu time again. Been there,done that. How many times have I started out on a blog and abandoned it mid-way? The answer is ‘n’. What’s more,I even published one, but deleted it immediately before anyone could get to see it. It prompted mails from some of my subscribers(1 to be exact ;)) asking me why they(he) got a notification mail in the first place. 🙂 The reason I deleted that blog was because I thought it was very,very unimaginative to say the least. I tried to do my version of the popular my-life-according-to-movies meme. Anyway, that is now consigned to the trash can.No point talking about it.Oh, and by the way, my disclaimer ended approximately 7 lines above this one. 🙂 So it was short indeed,as ‘disclaimed’.  😀 (At this point if you are thinking I am up to utter nonsense and nothing else, you are bang on target.)

What you read above were the beginning credits of a b-grade blog. The actual rants start here.

1.A bolt from the blue and a blast from the past:A few weeks back when I decided to arrange my things at home I found  a Sun java certification voucher.Approximately 6 months back, yours truly ,with loads of enthusiasm had purchased it with the noble intention of becoming a certified Java programmer.This was the blast from the past. Months passed by. Nothing happened. And one fine day the voucher presented itself, begging to be utilized for the cause it had been purchased for.The bolt that struck me was the expiry date on the voucher,rather ambiguously printed as ‘11-10-2009′. Assuming it was 11th October, I rushed to one of the prometric centres , only to be told the date was 10th Nov, and not the other way. Phew!That gives me a chance to give it a shot with some sort of preparation. Nature’s way of waking people up I guess. 🙂

2.How many passwords can the human brain remember?Of late, I’ve caught myself  typing the Cognizant password while logging into my gmail. And there are a few other websites for which I have to click on the “forgot password” link every time I login to them.Not to suggest I keep forgetting and mixing up every single password, but how many can one remember without getting confused?This one’s a filler before I come up with a better rant. I know I can do better. [:D]

3.Rahul does a Rakhi. I heard they’re planning to do one more of those sick reality shows this time with the quintessential psycho Rahul Mahajan. The great man wants to get married again now, so who better to emulate than Rakhi Sawant.Wonder who the participants are going to be, but if you are competing to marry him, I’m sorry, you’re just not in sound mental condition. Not trying to imply Mr. Rahul “Most-eligible-married-man-turned-bachelor-trying-to-find-a-bride” Mahajan doesn’t deserve anyone. Who better than Rakhi Sawant? May be he should’ve participated in Rakhi ka Swayamvar.That way he would have done great public service by not imposing one more reality show on us.Who knows, he would have impressed the folks at Stockholm and got himself a Nobel!

4.Reality bites,Reality TV sucks. The seemingly perpetual reality shows are now taking up different forms .After looking west for some inspiration(Indian idol, India’s got talent etc etc..),we  now  have some ‘original’ reality shows with a strong desi feel, like Rakhi ka swayamvar and whats the other one where couples get to take care of infants with cameras staring from everywhere?And another one just started season-3. To think that Amitabh Bachchan, of all the people is playing host is really disgusting.

5.T20: The game killer? Looking at the lukewarm response the recently concluded champions trophy got(both in terms of stadium attendance and TV viewership), it goes without saying- the 50 over version is dying a slow, cancerous death. The cancer here is T20.And did anybody notice they’re playing the champions league T20 right now?

6. Sometimes,it pays to be lazy 😀 My mobile phone charger went missing a few days back.In fact, I had lost two before. After searching almost every nook and corner , I just resigned to fate and decided to buy one more during the weekend.Thanks to my lazy ways ,I just kept procrastinating until my brother found  it out of nowhere and saved me some money and more importantly, the effort involved in getting up and going out to buy it. Yeah, I can be that lazy on weekends. 😛

7. Making a billion people proud? Not really.This one’s to do with the nobel prize.No, its not about Obama deserving it or not. I really don’t care. But when the media starts going gaga over some scientist-of-Indian-origin who is an American citizen now and starts labeling it as a proud moment for Indians, I get pissed off. It keeps happening every now and then-with Sunita Williams,Indra nooyi and so many others.No offense meant here,what they have done is phenomenal, but lets not start calling them Indian-I don’t think they really want to be called so.

So with that  I end my 1st official no-holds-barred-all-rants-blog.Looking forward to write something more meaningful very soon. 🙂

Midnight musings

What happened a few months back is that the poet lurking somewhere within me unraveled himself. The result of that was the poem I have below. This was posted in my company’s internal blogging site,known as Channel-one (Ch-1 in short). I’ve been struggling with new ideas to revive this blog,so here goes the poem , just for the heck of it,for the sake of an update.

A poem is what I want to write,
For the words and thoughts, within myself I fight….
Wondering when the time will be right,
for the poem, which I want to write!
Am not short on inspiration,
Which is a poem’s basis of construction….
Putting this together, is a lot of contemplation,
A fact it is, and no fiction…
Wanted to get back to ch-one,
Ideas and intent were plenty,but the determination,was none
Reading blogs is always fun,
But writing them is, the feeling number-one!
Is it getting silly, or long, myself I ask,
Never mind the meaning or length-as in the sunlight of satisfaction, I bask….
Looking back, writing this wasn’t really a task,
Just a means to cover my feelings with a mask…
Is this a flash in the pan, I wonder,
No, not at all, to myself I mutter…
As in being regular,
Lies the answer!!! 😉

p.s. It is titled so because it was written at the stroke of midnight. The events leading up to this poetic outburst caused a lot of frustration and disgust within me, which in turn gave way to the ‘poet’ within me. Good or bad, I was able to divert my mind for a while and it definitely made me feel better. 🙂